Appreciate

Have u ever appreciate all the natural beauty around? Or there's not enough natural around ur daily life?

Being far from home had teach me that, to appreciate natural beauty around me. People always say that view at overseas are great. I can't deny that but actually people dont realize that their surrounding are the best.

For me, living as outsider had really open up my eyes for the greenery back home. For people doesnt travel much, i bet they dont get this idea. Plus, i attend this what they call design survey. I went to place where is village enough for well educated people here. From there i get the opportunity to see what villagers do for their life. Scenery there so much different from hometown but somehow i feel something missing.

when u see picture of homeland forest after a along time, u`ll realize the different there.


Just saying!

Blog oh blog

Ape tujuan wt blog?

Nk luahkn perasaan?
Lepaskan geram?
Kongsi idea?

Tp blog ni kn public, sape2 je boleh bce. Nk privatekn blog? kdg2, blogger ni perlukan feedback dr org laen utk memperbaik dri sdri n utk msa depan. Klo buat blog pn tp private, mksdnye xde sape pn yg dpt bce, mknanya tu bknla berkongsi. Ape2 je yg kita tulis ni, cuma akn pantul blk ke dri sdri. Perasaan xdpt diluahkan, geram tu xterlerai n idea xberkembang. Xgitu?

Bkn ke setiap kata2 kita ni akn melambangkan dri sndri?

Tiba msanya bila nk luahkn smetin, tp actually xnk pn org laen tau ape yg kita rse sbnrnya. Kira mcm buat blog tp privatekn. So ape ptot kita buat utk pstikn mende tu xmantul ke dri sdri? Pdahal kita ni cuma ada blog maya ni je.

Adekah perlu simpan je sume tu n bersabar? Cmne plak klo sabar tu dh smpi hadnya? Ak rse sbr tu xde hadnya, cuma dri sdri msih kuat atau x. Jd, dri ak ni xkuatla agknye.

Cmne plak ngn org2 laen?
Ape yg korg rase?


Just trying to think in a neutral position.

Geram

Just face it amir, u`ll never get it!!

Sebulan tnpa bekalan..

Msalah bdk2 yg menerima bantuan kewangan..bantuan lmbt msok!

Sblum ni dh ade delay in monthly scholarship, tp yg kali ni btol2 buat dri sdri terdesak. Dh hjung thn ni, sesak tersangat, smpi sebulan tertangguh. Xtahu pihak mane yg prlu dipersalahkan. Utk pihak dri sdri, bknnye xde simpanan kecemasan, msalahnya semua smpanan dh digunakan.

Ni la org kate, dgr guruh di langit, air di tempayan dicurahkan. Mengharapkan bantuan tiba seperti selalunya, habis bantuan yg sedia ada dihabiskan. Bknnye sengaja nk habiskan yg sedia ada, tp yg sedia ada tu dh smpi msanya diperlukan, so xdptla nk elak. Skrg bntuan baru dh delay sebln, sesak jgk hdup cmni.

Skrg harapan utk bntuan tu tiba dh diberikan oleh pihak yg spttnye. Risau plak delay ag dsebabkan mslah2 yg remeh temeh. Klo delay ag..mmg nayela nk idop dlm keadaan cmni dhlank msok thn bru dh ni..


Semoga dipermudahkan

When you're gone

Bila time2 kekeliruan perasaan ni la biasanya kita akn pk mcm2. Tmbh2 org yg merantau jauh ni..this is the time when ur brain remind u about all of ur life before. It's not like u r having worst time of ur life..but they just keep coming and plant a 'time bomb' inside ur heart.

Tepulangla kt dri sdri smada nk biarkan sumuanya meletop. Ataupn dri sdri cuba utk leraikan semua wayar2 serabot bom tu n matikan dgn selamat.

Smestinyela brain kita ni slalu maenkn hati dgn mende2 yg dh lps ataupn perkara yg agk sukar utk kita capai dlm msa terdekat. Semua org ade kelebihan n kekurangan sndri, tp cuba kita fkir, adekah kita kuat utk leraikan wayar2 tu?

In some case, u just dont want to leraikan sume wyr2 tu sbb dri sdri dh xlrt nk wt pape. Ataupn, dh sedar, klo leraikan pn, msalah yg sma akn berlaku lg.

Tp ape msalahnye yg buat smpi jd cmtu?

Ape2 je msalah yg melibatkan hati dan perasaan. Terimalah, kita xleh nk lari dr msalah utk slamanya. Myb akn berjaya sekali dua, xpn lbih byk, tp msalah tu msih akn ade slagi x diselesaikan.

Utk ak, nk slesaikan mslah xssh. Mulanya, tenangkan dri sdri dlu, hati yg xtenang xkn dpt mmbantu otak utk berfikir dgn sebaiknya. Slalunya org akn tenangkn dri dgn tido, maen game, kluar jln2, tepulanglah tp pstikan sejurus shj dh tenang tu, slesaikanla mslah tu.

Mnusia ni slalunye bila dh tenang, dia akn rse mslah tu dh xde. Really? Terimalah hakikat msalah tu msih ade. Cuma ketenangan yg dh dpt tu buatkn kita lupa skjp msalah tu.

Melupakan msalah tu hya akn menyusahkn lg dri, dlm msa terdekat atau sebaliknya.


This is just what my brain think.

isi masa

memerah idea melukis smbil melayan utube dan sementara itu juga membetolkn blk keadaan lptop yg agk lma tidak digunakan dgn sebaiknya.

merajok agknye lptop ni..bknnye ak xnk gne, tp xde kperluan utk gnakan dia. ckopla skdr gnakan lptop yg lbih kompak ni.

until this time now, i`m still trying to find somethin to cover up my precious time which in before i always spend it for another purpose. and now, i`m not actually open up my daily time for the same purpose anymore (although i know i wanted to), there come many things to be done.


is this what i want actually??

come on heart!

ダメのかなぁ

何回言ってもその大切な時間が作ってくれないんだ。。

もう直接に言いたくないだけど。。

本当に俺のこと大切にしているのかな。。

俺はやめたいけど、やめらせてくれない。。


ダメだ！！

幸せ？

今の自分は本当に幸せなのか。。
こんな状態でいいのか。。
マジで何もやりたくないのか。。
諦めたのかな?

他人の気持ちはどうかな。。
もう考えたくないよ！

early mail

Doing work until 4am! That happen when your work involve researching online. (byk pengacau)


setel wt kje, cm biasela, guling2 ats katil. Tgh guling2 tu, dpt emel dr sensei. Amboi sensei, subuh2 anto emel ni. tgk2 jam dh kul 945am! fuhhhh...!!


研究配属の件です


begitulah tajuk emelnye. `berkenaan kemasukan ke bidang kajian` lebih kurg mksdnye.


bila masok thn 4 nti, bdk2 yg blaja cni akn pilih bidang kajian dorg utk graduate. berkenaan itulah sensei `menjemput` ak ke biliknya untuk berbincang. Pelik jgk la ak, dhla tgh risau boleh msok thn 4 ke x. Ntah2 dia pgl ak utk gtau ak xmsok thn 4....OH NO!

pergilah ak mengayuh ke blik sensei tu. Sensei ak ni baek orgnya, xreti berbahasa inggeris.hehe. Then stelah bertanya khabar sume, dia pn ceritalah tujuan `jemputan` tu. Katanye, 3 pilihan yg ak buat utk bidang kajian tu xdpt diterima. So, ak kne pilih bidang laen. Fuh!! jnji dpt msok thn 4!

Jadi kesimpulannya disini,

klo nk dpt ape yg korg nak dgn mudah, berusahalah dengan kuat dari mula. 

ak ni bknnye student yg bijak pandai sgt, so yg sisa2 je la yg layak ak amik. pape pn, Alhamdulillah.


やはり、優秀じゃないと簡単に選べないよ！

sebelum blah, sensei smpt berpesan kt ak stelah ak meluahkn khuatir yg ada dlm diri ak.


大丈夫だよ。楽しんでしなさい。


Itulah pesannya sejak thn 1. senang translate,

RELAX BRO, NJOY!

Steady ar sensei! haha

Nice word, granny!

Last weekend, one of Malaysian here went back to Malaysia for good. Got opportunity to help him clear out his house. On the last morning before departure, I met with his neighbor which is an old lady, around 80y/o (i think). Met with her 2 or 3 times and I can see the sad face just because she will not be able to meet with the Malaysian guy anymore. It is a very, very sad face. Oh, forget! Older people are very nice to `alien` like us.

One of the best word I heard from the conversation. With sad, trying not to cry voice.

Translated as below,

"We`ll not be able to see each other anymore. But, some other time, perhaps, we can meet again. (sobs..) Although u`ll be far away, (sobs..) we still be living in this world, rite? so we can still meet somehow. If u ever come here again, please, come and meet me."

(maybe in japanese it sound more dramatic)

I was somehow touched when she say, "we still live in the same world." I can`t elaborate what that suppose to mean really, but don`t you think this sentence have it own `power`?

Seriously, it was my first time hearing this kind of speech when someone know that he/she will not be able to meet with another person anymore.

Mobile blogging

Tesalah naek densya (train) la pulok! Lame plak tu nk patah blk..stesen kampung plak.


Tefikir diri ni mcm msih blom sedia nk msok sem baru ni. Dhla kelas sume kne lepas utk naek 4th year. Self motivation still xpower ag.


Addition, first time mobile blogging. Ade apps jgk utk blogging ey. Bgosla cmni..


Smoga bemula esok, smgt nk blaja tu dtg blk sepenuhnya. Amin!

Desire

When u want something, can u just spill it out?

I guess as long as u can handle yourself, u can control your desire. and for some reason, u just too afraid that no way in this world can fulfill your desire, that's make u to keep quiet. But, as time goes on it will eventually went out. By that time, there's nothing u can do to yourself unless regret if it does bring something bad and vice versa.

So, just spell out your desire?

Then, when something push you to just spill everything out, and it had become 'a new u', who learnt not to hold on your desire anymore (this desire mean in a positive way), by this time u are comfortable with yourself and somehow figure out that there's a way in this quite small world can make u be on top of it.

But then, what if there's still unfinished desire?

There, u will be back to your initial point, shy and quiet person at one of the corner in this small world. But now, for me, I don't think u'll ever spill out your desire anymore. u'll be worst than 'the initial u'. don't u think so?

There is where myself now.

Long Distance Relationship

This has to be done.

Lets discuss on this topic. Sometime people say, "hey, u xabes blaja lagi jgnla pikir psl mende2 ni." Skati korg la ye, for me, as long as you are serious with it (I mean here, really serious ok!), did not effect your study, and importantly, your parent know and they bless it. disagree? have it your way, don't want things get too serious here.

before going to the point,

I'm not pointing my fingertip to anyone regarding this post.

ok, lets go!

Thing to make long distance relationship not a failure:

HAVE FUTURE PLANNING FOR BOTH OF YOU!!

klo korg stkt nk ade teman mesra, stop it. Jarak jauh is something yg susah. this is important, even u want to have a relationship, make sure korg kne ade masa depan. Janganla lelaki ngorat pmpuan tnpa ada niat nk berkahwin dgn pompuan tu.

Yes,

If you want to be in relationship, make sure you have future planning.

ak ade dok pikir how to make your long distance not a failure,

masalahnya ak ni sdri pn xlepas ag ngn long distance ni,

so, xlayakla ak nk discuss psl mende ni.

Zaman bas skola II

Okeh! kli ni nk tls ape yg ak rse psl bas skola ni.

time golek2 td ak tepikirla yg sbnrnye sronok naek bas ni, or at least, seronok ade pengalaman naek bas loncat2 cmni. ak rse time ak lalui dulu tu, xpnah pn nk rse sronok, dok menyumpah mcm2 ade la kot. yela kpla tgh sronok nk blk umah, tp tgu pye lame naek bas, xsmpi2 ag.

Cuba kte pkirkn bdk2 yg slalunya parent dorg akn amik dorg dr asrama cthnye, anta anak2 pegi blk skola, ape bezanya ank2 tu ngn ank2 yg mcm ak ni, yg g skola sume sdri. tp time ak skola rndah, abah tiap2 ari amik n anto ak.hehehe. crita psl abah amik ak g skola rendah dlu pn nti nk wt jgk la.hahaha

back to topic

Yes, parent yg slalu amik anak2 dorg ni mmgla parent yg penyayang, ak xnk ckp yg sebaliknya utk yg xslalu amik ank dorg ey. Ak dlu xnk sshkn parent ak dtg jaoh2 utk amik ak. so, bdk2 yg ade pngalaman cmni akn tmbh ag dorg pye daya ketahanan hidup di luar. tmbh2 plak yg dok asrama tu, dhla dok dlm asrama tu sumenye disuap, time cuti pn dijemput parent blk ke rumah..smpi umah ak xtaula kn. jadinya point kt cni, bdk2 remaja ni kdgkala perlukan msa jgk utk hdup berdikari berdepan masyarakat luar tnpa bntuan yg penuh. haaa..ak kluarkn idea ni atas dasar seorang pelajar asrama la ey. ak xlayak nk berckp sbg plajar skola harian sbb ak xde pngalaman tu. penting jgk mende ni utk ajr anak tu mcm2. wpon xdpt efeknye scra langsung, mgkin satu mse nti ade jgk kegunaannye.

ak xnk kate ini cara terbaik utk ajr anak berdikari, tp utk yg lone ranger cm ak ni, ak rase seronok bila dpt pluang cmni. ak slalu jgk tepikir nti nk travel dgn bas just wasting time n see surrounding.

when u can feel the shortness, u will always try to make it better. when everything is good around, there's tendency u are satisfied with it and no effort to make it better.

so, kpd parent2, SOMETIME its ok NOT to make your children life perfect 24/7, they need to learn. 

I'm sure everyone will have their own thinking style, this is mine. lets sometime consider other style, if it's good, then lets do it.

till next post!

zaman bas sekolah I

Yes, tonight my brain don't want to sleep yet. tengah begolek2 dlm cocoon td (suhu skrg dh smakin menurun kt tpt ak ni) tepikir la plak psl life ak time skola dolu2 naek bas.

First time ak naek bas, kompom la ak xigt bile, tapi yg ak igt mse ak skola rndah ag ak dh stat kluar g pekan Ipoh ngn bas. ade msenye ak kuar ngn membe, tp slalunye ak g sorg2 je pn. Ye, forever alone kid! Sorg bdk still skola rndah g pekan Ipoh sorg2 je naek bas, bleh thn gk.haha. bas time tu basela kn, bas loncat dr Chemor - Ipoh. org pgl bas tu 'bas kuale', sbbnye bas tu gerak dr Kuala Kangsar smpila ke Ipoh melalui Jln Kuala Kangsar (nama jalan masa tu, around thn 2000). 

Stelah ak msok asrama, time kt Transkrian tu, klo pulang bermalam mmg ak akn naek bas la. kdg2 pihak skola ade sediakan bas tros ke Ipoh, tp slalu jgk xde bas tu, sbb org yg nk trun Ipoh xrmi. ade jgk kes ktorg (bdk2 Ipoh) kongsi bas ngn bdk2 KL. klo ade bas yg cmni mmg sng sket la idop ak time tu. Tp, bile ak nk blk ke skola, yakni dr Ipoh ke Transkrian tu, laen plak la citenye. Biasanye ak akn amik bas dr Ipoh ke Taiping, bas ekspres kaler biru muda tu, skrg ade ag kot bas tu, myb dh lawo sket. ak pn dh lame xtgk, ye la, sethn skali je pn blk Mesia. 

Lps setel naek bas tu, lbih kurg 1jam30mnt, ak knela tkr plak naek bas kaler merah utk ke Parit Buntar. Bas ni mmg bas loncat ar, kompom xde ekon buatan manusia, yg ade ekon smulajadi. ak ni plak bkn jnis yg bwk beg kcik2 klo blk kmpung, lenguh bahu sume nk gendong beg tu. mmg menarik la naek bas ni, klo dpt time yg best tu, bediri je la ak spnjg jln dr Taiping ke P.Buntar tu. pergh! Bas ni klo korg  nk tau, route dia dari Kemunting Taiping, then msok sket area semanggol tu, ikot jln kona2 (belok2) dgn jln bukit2nye, mmg 'jln dlm' la org kate. so klo xdpt dduk dlm bas tu, mmg 'terbaik' la.

3thn jgk la ak berulang cmtu, nsb baek time Form 4 ak dh tkr ke Taiping, so kurangla 1 route ak. klo dpikir2kn blk, betuah jgk ak ade pngalaman cmni. ak tau, org laen myb ade crita yg lbih hebat ag (xnk kalah). skati korg la. 

so ni la zaman bas skola ak. lps ni ak kupas sket ape yg nk ak smpikn. 

see and feel

Today I see something that I haven't see for quite some time..

but then I feel something..

Why should I feel this?? there should be nothing to worry about..

Yes!!!!

HEY myself, u shouldn't worry anything bout that since u didn't sure anything bout that!

STOP!!!

but maybe I can't hide it..

this feeling so strong.

knape ak  xkuat ni??

blogger?

just finished reading back my previous post..can't remember how enjoy myself writing in this blog..
there one comment from unknown person on one of my post which I didn't realized..he/she accepted the way i write my blog n maybe he read all the post from early time..(or maybe it just a bot)..really wanted to thanks the person actually, but don't know who it is..

THANKS ANYWAY!

let find back the 'writer' side of me..

Dear the 'writer' side of me,

   If u are in there, this is the time u can come back again after long sleep. U can be the way how it used to be. Just come outside, but please be note that the environment had changed. People around are not the same and so do the situation. 

Sincerely from Me.

back writing maybe?

Peringatan : sesiapa yg bce ni (don't think anyone will), post ini hyalah output dr otak yg byk sgt berfikir ni. kemungkinan besar korg xkn phm pn. so, you can stop reading.

it was the time after my SPM when I start this blogging..not really sure..but for sure the year of my SPM. back when I have so many time despite the serious gaming session daily..how did  I manage myself to write? gaming session was longer than my class session now. maybe sometime my brain will just solve this puzzle..save it for later.

just miss myself back then..where I feel so relaxed just writing here n there (where was I put my writing book? at home maybe..oh no! hope no one find it)..back to topic..myself is not a good oral communicator nor good language user.(really awkward english) WTF japanese!

u can see here..my brain keep going away from main topic.

BEHAVE BRAIN..BEHAVE!

ah! bahasa ibunda je ar! ak ni bknnye org yg pndi bercakap..nk berbahasa dlm tulisan pn kureng la jgk. tp somehow I feel comfortable when writing. Yes, my brain always keep thinking many things (not sure during exams or project brainstorm) maybe by writing, it help my brain to make some output to what it had pile up inside there.

seronok jgk menulis ni..myb i'll start back my writing life..kne start jgkla reading ni..cmne nk wt ayat klo asyik bce 9gag je kn? tp time ak rjin menulis dlu pn  bknnye ak slalu mmbce bhn2 ilmiah ni sgt pn. haaa..ntah2 sbb time tu ak bru lps SPM, so efek dr penulisan karangan ngn esei tu ade kot, beguna la nk menulis kn. erm.. lynkn aje la otak ni.

when everything hurt..

tgk gmbo...sayu...

bkk fb...sedih...

msg2 org..msgless..

tu la..sape sroh blajo jauh2..abg sdri kawen pn xleh nk blk..